Our baby... Born too soon

R&R was fill of many great times, memories and laughs. One of the main focuses our R&R was to try our very first round of fertility treatment. All went well... Before he even left i had a feeling i was pregnant, i just felt different. Well when i was 3 weeks 2 days i got a faint positive.. So i tested the next day and the same so i kept testing and finally at 3 weeks 5 days (calculated from my last period) it was a "pregnant" on the digital test. We were sooo over the moon! I went the very next day to have blood work to confirm and sure enough it was all positive! My doctor told me i am considered high risk & to take it easy, so i did. I went twice a week for blood to make sure hcg was increasing, and it was. At 5 weeks they found that my progesterone was low & put me on meds & told me to continue takin it easy, so i did. My ultra sound was scheduled for April 5, 2012... Which i never thought would be the most horrible day of my life. I woke up that morning, couldn't wait to see it on that screen! Took my phone in with me to take pix of the screen & email it to my husband. My husband is in Afghan and awaited at his computer for im sure, what seemed forever. So after paper work and questions is was time for the ultra sound! As it came up on the screen, my heart dropped, on the floor and felt as if someone had stomped it to a million pieces. I knew it didn't look right... And the look on my doctors face confirmed my thoughts. He said this is not a normal pregnancy... &.... There was no heart beat. It's taken some time for me to be able to talk about what happened that day but i can finally do it! My husband and i were absolutely crushed, to say the least, such a hard time for us. As i was in the room my husband emailed me "hurry up, send a pic!!" and i had to tell him "hold on, they cant find a heart beat". I can not even begin to imagine the pain he felt reading those words, knowing he couldn't physically be here for me, that he physically could not to anything to help me.. It hurts, bad! Especially not having him here to be with me. A few days later is when the miscarriage started, i ended up being hospitalized for a day... I wont go into detail but i will just say that it was the most traumatizing experience of my life & i wouldn't wish that upon anyone. To those of you who have been through a missed miscarriage, you know how i feel. It hurts in such an unexplainable way. If you haven't been through it, count your lucky stars & be thankful for your children! One good thing that came out of this is that we know i can at least get pregnant. It also leaves us with a bigger question then before, can i hold a pregnancy to full term? As many women with PCOS can not. I am so thankful for my husband. Thousands of miles away and he still supports me, is here for me emotionally and loves me more then ever. I feel terrible he could not be by my side but i know he doesn't get to control these things. I ask that everyone be thankful for our men and women who serve thiss country and especially to the ones over seas, they miss out on so much, good & bad, they deserve the thanks! And remember, our husbands serve... So yours dont have to <3